Emotions (or teen angst in your 50’s)

You pack them into tidy little boxes and place on a shelf for a later time.

But what happens ehen you run out of storage?

Grief, sadness, anger and fear. All have a place but get in the way happiness, joy, excitement, and contentment. And when all the emotions and some that you didn’t know existed fall on you all at once you have to put some away until you’re able to deal with them. At least, for me, that’s my new process. I used to just push them down but after they’d make me physically sick after fermenting, they’d bubble up and out causing more damage.

But then I discovered compartmentalizing. Put one in a box and deal it with later and in small increments.  This gave me four almost five years of healthy living and I was even able to empty a few of those boxes but then a major event happened and 10x the amount of emotions I had fell on me until I was swimming in a pool full of overwhelming amount of emotions. It took a year to put them in boxes and pack them neatly away. No time to deal with any of the existing boxes.

I’ve run out of storage room- if I can squeeze a box on the shelf another one moves just enough to push the lid off of another and I’m faced to feel all the things that are associated with that emotion.

I’ve called a help line offered through my employer and they haven’t called back. It’s been 11 months…I think they forgot about me. But then, so did I.

So now, I start dealing. Im not a writer but I used to dream about it because I’ve a lot to say and never felt heard. (One of those feelings I packed away decades ago and was tipped open when cramming another box on the shelf).

So this is raw and unedited and although I’m in my 50’s,  sounds very teen angsty. Maybe that is why I am irritated by teen angsty characters in books and on the screen.  Oooh, I think I just made room in a box!

Can you pack this in a box? Yes, but don’t- feel it, experience it, and if you can’t quite let it go, pack the memory.

My Yay List

February’s issue of Good Housekeeping inspired me to do all the “me time” activities I’ve pinned, bookmarked and listed on various social media,  my whiteboard to do list, and randomly placed sticky notes. The issue lists one thing a day- that includes a few of said activities guaranteed to lift me out of my rut! While the list starts out with #selfcaresunday I’m going to start my day 1 on day 2 with this post.

I’ve lacked the confidence to put myself out there and it’s taken turning 50 for me to embrace the “just do it” attitude.  Why not?  It’s for me, it’s an outlet, maybe it will help someone, make someone smile, not be noticed…it’s for me- it will help me, it will make me smile, I will notice.  That’s good enough.

My yay list today included:

• getting through a stack of magazines piling up since December- Woot! February’s Good Housekeeping has reignited my self-care goal.
• Spur of the moment dinner with friends I do not get to see as much as I did when we all worked together.  Chatting over coffee was our dessert and I have not laughed that much in years.
• eating three Oreo’s because I craved them…with NO Guilt! and before NOON!
• taking the day off!
• extra cuddle time with my furbabies- amazing what that little bit of extra love from a cat and a dog can do for your emotional well being.

What’s on your YAY List?

 

Be the Daisy!

I love daisies and many quotes came to mind when I spotted these random two along the trail. But it was the Robert Kennedy quote that made me think of the photo today. Not sure why…spotting these two daisies made me smile at the difference happy flowers can make amongst the weeds and dirt beautiful to me on their own but happier with the daisies.

Are you cleaning your computer today?

It is National Clean Out Your Computer Day after all.  I’ve been digitally cleaning my computer since January 2nd! (Resolution goals!)

For me, it involves cleaning out and organizing folders, bookmarks, program files, emails, etc. Sound overwhelming? It is a tad bit at first and can manipulate much of your day in the early stages.  However, it is very much worth the effort as I’ve found my computer runs better and it has helped me become more organized in other areas of my life!  If this is new to you, start small.

“For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned.” ~ Anonymous 

Where to begin? Where I began: Bookmarks bar and email. The rest sort of evolved from there.

Monday Marketing Minute #1

Using the Facebook Events option to promote your organization’s activities and events, if done consistently, is not only convenient for your customer but it is also a time saver for you. Not to mention it provides a little extra PR at no cost to you. Using Facebook events is a good practice and here are reasons why:

1. Facebook now allows your fans to subscribe to events. This means Facebook will do the PR work for you once you have created your event. (Subscribers will get notification that an event has been created, the option to select interested, going, not going and this shows in their news feed.  Customers do not need to have ‘liked’ your page to subscribe to  your events.  Do you see potential followers here?
2. Many people will check Facebook before a website.  Be consistent with your events -it is Facebook’s equivalent to a web calendar.   You can direct followers back to your website for more information on the event page, but for those simply looking for date, time, and/or brief description–they can do so without leaving their Facebook page or app. I’ve noticed one page I follow that has not updated their website calendar in almost four months! AND had a post not caught my eye on my news feed, I would have missed an event that I wanted to attend because they are no longer consistent with creating events.  On my last visit to the brick and mortar branch I discovered several missed events.  Yes, they were posters inside the building but I do not stop there every day.  Do you see a potential for lost customer here?
3. Facebook’s events are just as convenient for you as they are your customer.  Web calendars can be clunky, putzy, and frustrating.  With Facebook events you simply click “create event,” plug in your information, add a photo, and voilà!  Facebook has a great Help Center to help you out.  Or- you like the hands on approach and are not local -you can follow along to my ‘only on my 2nd cup of coffee’ voice demo:

CreateYourFacebookEvent

 

Morning Coffee thoughts

“When stumbling blocks can become stepping stones, then these stones that the builders reject can equally become chief cornerstones!”
― Israelmore Ayivo

Not sure where I found this, Goodreads maybe, as I am always saving articles, posts, and links to view later (I call it my Morning Coffee file and I have one in my Google Drive, Private Pinterest board, Evernote, and Bookmark bar.  AND, may I add, I was doing this long before Facebook offered the “Save” feature which I love!  Every weekend and the first 15 min of my day over a cup of coffee -see what I did now 😉 – I take a closer look at the list and save or trash.  ) Back to the quote-, it caught my eye again, when I came across it Morning Coffee file and had what Oprah refers to as an AHA moment.

Those obstacles have helped to shape me and who I am, how I think, and how I keep moving forward.  No matter what.  Eventually, if you think about it, they help get you where you are going (where there is a will, there is a way) or help you find a new path (if at first you don’t succeed…).  They become chief cornerstones…of your action plan…your mission…your being.  Sometimes they seem to float across your path-think planning process and foreseeing obstacles.  Other times they literally trip you up…like a layoff for instance.

I am a planner and as a planner, I like to think I am prepared for these obstacles.  When I received word I was going to be laid off in four months at years end due to budget cuts,my brain went right into planning mode.  Back up plans A, B, and C are almost always in place (downsize, move 100% into minimalist mode (slowly working on that for years), and if it is really bad, sell, pack up, and move in with my mother who could use the help but is not necessarily begging for that option.)  I started looking at the want ads that night and before the week was up had applied for six jobs and working on plans D-G. (33 applications to date and still optimistic.)

After five months of dealing with the news and my first month of officially being unemployed, I find myself wondering–where was their planning? (As a business major, I know how it works but all that goes out the window when it is you.) However, as life is full of little and not so little lessons, I try to not dwell on the ‘what if’s’ and ‘why’s’ and keep moving forward.  Sometimes it’s a family member, a friend, a book, an article, a community, or sometimes it is a simple quote that inspires an AHA moment.

Those stumbling blocks have become the cornerstones as I have had to repair or completely tear down a few walls and rebuild fresh upon the lessons learned from obstacles in my life.  They serve as a reminder of what I have survived, overcome, an
d achieved because of and despite the stumbling blocks.  My wish for you is that your stumbling blocks are easily maneuvered and help to shape the cornerstones of your life in a positive way.

Random Shoutout to Random Thoughts ‘n’ Lots of Coffee and if you’re on Facebook you can find her there too.  I find her posts on her blog and Facebook to be uplifting, inspiring, and often just the right way to express a current mood! I have her blog favorited in my “Morning Coffee” bookmark folder and between the blog and FB posts I’m smiling at the start of my day.

Friday’s Ramblings

“At some point in life the world’s beauty becomes enough.  You don’t need to photograph, paint, or even remember it. It is enough.” ~Toni Morrison

I’ve read this quote many times before and I always feel something different, whether in the kindness of strangers, the unsung heroes, or life itself. Today, it made me smile and nod and think about all those quiet moments I am blessed to have with nature.  Over that morning cup of coffee on my back deck (even in frigid temps) waiting for my dog to do his morning duties, listening to the birds, and if I’m lucky-watching the sun rise it is enough.  Walking around town down by the lake or on my favorite walking trail I always have my camera but forget to snap a photo I’m so lost in the beauty.

Two of my three words for this year are LOOK and ENJOY.  The world’s beauty is EVERYWHERE and living in the moment, taking the time to just be, it is enough.  It gets me through those ‘bleh’ days and days of ‘I don’t wanna.’

The sun especially, and on days it is not visible through clouds, I still see it. Sometimes it is a ray peeking through, sometimes it is in the melting snow or blooming flower or weed.  It’s there, it is beautiful, and it is enough. It’s also the closest definition I can give to explain my faith. It is  there, it is beautiful, and it is enough.

Toni Morrison is one of my favorite authors after one of the world’s best professors, Dr. Nancy Chick, assigned one of her books for class.  Reading Morrison’s book is like a class in and of itself.  I read and re-read. I jot notes, thoughts, and questions.  Her books stay with me for some time and my mind does not rest for all of the thoughts weaving through my normal everyday random thoughts.  Have you read her?  What’s your favorite or last read title?

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Before I sign off I just have to shout out the wonderful customer service I experience EVERY time I call Centurylink.  I typically am calling for user error but they never make me feel as if I have wasted their time and are always gracious with their questions and comments.  In all the years of being a customer, I think I have only had to call twice for technical issues on their end and both times they were amazing! I left once to try another service.  While they were a little cheaper they were not friendly, their customer service was non existent, and we had trouble with both cable and internet service. Back to Centurylink we went.  With apologies. They held no ill will. 🙂

And to Doterra for making the only migraine relief that works 99.9 percent of the time. Their Past Tense blend of essential oils does the trick and if I cannot lay down for 15 minutes I can still get through the day.  I suffer horrible migraines and have ripped up my stomach over the years with OTC alternatives.  I am a happy girl as I type for having awoke with a headache.  A quick dab across the forehead, on my temples,  and back of  my neck and I’m good to go. In the four months I have used the oils over OTC I resorted to my migraine OTC drug of choice once.  For the amount of headaches I suffered from that is huge.  AND over the last month…only 2 headaches! I am dealing with stress better, eating better, and using the oils as needed.  If you are a headache sufferer I encourage you to research essential oils and discuss this alternative with your doctor.  (We all suffer differently from different types of headaches–this works for all of mine on some level).

FYI–these are not paid reviews honest appreciative comments for the little things that made me happy today before finishing my first cup of coffee! I hope you all find many little things to keep you happy all day today!

Cheating today…

…but I’m writing!

Today’s Positive Thought: “The greatest joy lies not in simply being, but in becoming.” ~Oprah Winfrey

This makes me think of my three words for 2016 (Look, Write, and Enjoy).  All three are reminders to keep on the path I’ve started- the path where I look at both the big and small picture, soak it in, enjoy the beauty, lessons, and experience of it all.  I’m learning to like me for the first time in my life and even enjoy me a little.  I’m finding that I like and enjoy the people around me a little more too–I’ve got some pretty darn good taste when it comes to friends –I can’t be all that bad! 🙂  And this whole process– it is a joy.  Even yesterday when I simply did not want to adult. I found much to enjoy and some of you were a part of that even–THANKS!!

Today is Oscar Nomination Day and I want to shoutout my friend Laura over at What to Watch who writes reviews on movies on television.

I’m not much of a movie buff but I know what I like and I find her reviews helpful and sort of like a reader’s advisory but for shows both on the big screen and the small screen. Check her out!  What are your picks for top movie, actor and actress?  I did not see many movies last year but the two that stood out for me were Jurassic World and Mad Max and Star Wars: The Force Awakens.  Loved two of the three (can you guess the two?)

Today’s Website Pick: Lifehacker 

These tips and tricks do not always apply but typically inspire the palm to the forehead “I could have had a V8” moment for their simplistic ‘why did I not think of that’ content.  I was most recently slapping my forehead yesterday when I came across the packing a six layer lunch lifehack.  Yep, simple enough that I can spend less than an hour getting a week’s worth of my lunches ready the Sunday before–(hand whap to the forehead).   Got a Facebook page or website you think is worth a look-please share in the comments.  I love discovering new sites.

Have a great Thursday!  If I continue on this role, I’ll see you tomorrow!

Day two….in a row!  But it was tough getting here today.  After the productive day yesterday, waking up with a headache, and no sub work…I lost my motivation.  I read somewhere, many somewhere’s infact, that if you make the bed right away when you get up you’ll force yourself into motivation.  Well, it works and today I just. did. not. wanna.

I got up. Grabbed my robe, my phone, and turned on the television (three things that almost guarantee that I will be unproductive, cave into a depressive state, and be stressed out by 3pm that I let the day get away from me).  I mentioned yesterday that I found out in September that my position would be eliminated at years end. It was. I am sad. I can, however, fight the sadness or embrace it throughout a productive day IF I make my bed right away.

I don’t wanna.  But, after two hours of “waking up” with a cup of coffee, browsing through my email (something Brendon Burchard strongly advises against but I was feeling a bit rebellious, stubborn, sorry for myself), and watching the daily news programs I forced myself to get dressed, BUT I did not make my bed! I still do. not. wanna.

Then I straightened up the kitchen, did dishes, swept floors, changed kitty litters, updated my resume to apply for another position (I realize this is the statement of a blessed person as finding positions to apply for is not always an easy task), and darn it all if I wasn’t becoming motivated!  BUT, say it with me: I did NOT make my bed! I stiiiil do not wanna.
Turning to look out the window I saw the photo you see above. SNOW! I LOVE snow! (and the cold!)

It was lightly snowing and my mood began to lift, just like that.  Selfishly, I felt this was a little pick-me up sent just for me from God.  Then, the phone rang and it was my best friend who can always lift my mood with a giggle and we chatted…while I paced…and straightened up my desk…tidied up the living room…hung up my robe…and…without even thinking about it I. Made. My. Bed.   I didn’t even realize it until I passed by my room after hanging up…What the!  Now, how do you crawl back into bed once it’s made!?  Ugh!  Might as well gripe in a blog post now.

Remember, I did warn you all I would be writing for me and if you have kept with me, thanks!  I hope whatever happies you up happens today and brightens your day.  Maybe share what is? Or your routine and/or tips that help to keep you from caving into the heavy moods, that’d be great!  Enjoy the rest of your day.  I’m going to go curl up with my book Mr. Churchill’s Secretary by  Susan Elia MacNeal and it is getting GOOD!  What are you reading?

Today’s positive quote: “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows” ~Helen Keller

Today’s Website Find: Modern Mrs. Darcy   I like her new series What Should I Read Next  where she talks to a guest and discusses three books they love, one book they hate, and what they are reading now. Readers advisory meets book club meets talk show.  Love it!